Sunday, March 29, 2015

Coming Soon... Gay Divorce Court!


     Never did I expect to see gay marriage in my lifetime. It has been a joy to see how many people have embraced this idea. It isn’t/wasn’t about walking down the aisle with family and friends so much as it was for equal rights. For many of my friends, it was mainly about medical situations, and having the right to be with your partner and make decisions for that partner when the need arose.


     Now, with that being said, I've got to say that I can’t wait for Gay Divorce Court. You know it’s going to happen. I can see it now… two old queens fighting over china and a dog. It is going to be hysterical. I might even have to watch that one.



     Over the years, I have known many gay couples in committed relationships which lasted much longer than most non-gay relationships. So for those who had the power to deny rights to those couples—who themselves had been married and divorced several times—I give you a big ol’ raspberry. So there. Ha!

     I never understood the whole thing about how my right to marry another man would somehow undermine your failing marriage(s). How do they come to that conclusion? It’s just like what business is it of theirs to know what goes on in my bedroom? Uh… none. I sure as hell don’t want to know what’s going on in theirs. All I can say to that is… EWWW.

     Marriage… let me ramble on about that for a moment. First off, I don’t see myself ever getting married. I have come to the conclusion that there is no one out there who would be willing to put up with all of my bullshit. I’m way too opinionated, stubborn, and cantankerous for anyone to deal with. I’m also very set in my ways and I tend to like things done a certain way. I will be the first to admit that I’m very OCD, and when things aren’t put back a certain way or there is a lot of clutter around me, I get downright bitchy. I know this about myself, and that’s just the way I am. So… no walking down the aisle for me.

     For those who are already married, I extend my congratulations and sympathy. Yes, I did say sympathy. Far too often, I see couples who are together and shouldn’t be. I have noticed that, gay or straight, there are people who should just throw in the towel and call it quits. They make each other, or at least one of them, miserable. What bothers me the most is the whole ‘Battered Wife Syndrome’ or as it is now being called, ‘Battered Person Syndrome’.

     The first stage is denial. You don’t actually have to have been hit to be a battered person, just so you know. You can be abused by actions and words alone! Do not be fooled that you have to be beaten to be considered a battered spouse/partner. So, denial… not only to family and friends but to themselves. I have seen this often in gay couples and even more so in straight couples.

     The next stage is guilt. Yep, they/you will feel guilty and think it is all your fault. I guess, I’m just too pig-headed to wrap my mind around this one. You’re going to abuse me and then make it my fault? Uhhh… no. Not in my lifetime.

     Then we progress on to enlightenment. Voila! You’ve seen the light. Glory Hallelujah! Now hold onto your horses for a moment here. Now what? Personally, I’d seriously think of using a cast iron skillet on someone’s head. However, I don’t think I’d do well in prison. (although I did do this once. I'm so glad my skillet was okay afterwards.) So what do you do? After considering the skillet, I’d say the best thing for me to do would be to just walk away. Get the hell away would be more like it. Do it as amicably as possible, but get the hell out of there. Cut your losses and be done with it. I do speak from personal experience on that one. Don’t try and be best friends or as I did, roommates. Best to just kick this piece of crap to the curb and move on.

     This, now, leaves us with the last stage… personal responsibility. Often an abuser, either physical or emotion, will never change. A lot of the time, this person was raised with this type of behavior and will never see the error of their ways. Trust me, you ain’t gonna change them. They will suck you in by getting you to remember the good times or how sweet and charming they can be. Yeah, right. Remember that as they pack their bags and then remember how they make you feel after they’ve had a go at you. Hell, often times they never think it is wrong. Oh well, that’s them. Let’s talk about you. You have a responsibility to yourself. You deserve to be happy, don’t you? Will you ever be truly happy when you are in a situation where you’re either physically beaten or beaten down emotionally?

     Yes, gay marriage can be a wonderful thing, as in any marriage. But—and it is a big ‘but’— if you aren’t happy, is it worth it?

     Okay, taking the escalator down from my soapbox. Ooops, not so quick… back to the top for just a few…


     I have a cyber-stalker! Woo-Hoo! Uh, no. This woman really creeps me the hell out. She was my former neighbor and a major reason that I moved. I couldn’t cope with her or her drunken behavior and loud mouth. Now it seems that she can’t live without me. She's in love with me. She tracks everything I do online, which is really icky. I don’t think she is a danger to me, but I do know that she was convicted of animal cruelty and her child taken away from her.. Anyway, I know how much she’s in love with me so I thought I’d make her day by giving her a mention. Hey Donna Russell. Are we having fun yet?


     Okay, down escalator… 

     The next blog post should be from Australia! I’m getting really excited about going. This is truly a trip of a lifetime. Of course, along with the excitement is the anxiety of having to meet new people and the book readings. I still have no idea what to read or even how to go about doing it. I’ve never done it before, and I have always hated speaking in public. Still no suggestions. Ugh, come on people, any ideas here?

     I’d like to know what erotic scene I’ve written that I should read. What made you hot and bothered? Is there one in particular that stands out? That is for the first reading. The second reading is to be longer, like fifteen minutes. Lord help me.

     What should I read? What book? Any suggestions or ideas? What book was your favorite? You favorite characters?

     Don’t make me come after y’all, now. I need some input here.


     And the really good news is, I'm getting there just as Aussie Rule Football starts! YAY! I mean, come on, who doesn't like to see hot men running around in short-shorts tackling each other? Huh?

     I keep seeing this man walking up the main street where I live. He is always carrying several garbage bags. You only have to look at him and realize he is more than likely homeless. I’m thinking that the next time I see him I’ll stop him and see if I can’t take him to lunch or dinner. What’cha think?

     As always, think about someone else and their needs, and do something about it. Doesn’t have to cost anything. Just doing something nice for another human is often the best way to rack up them good Karma Coins, ya know. It will also make you feel better. Best cure to what ails ya.

     Speaking of good… I’ve often said “Good things come to good people”. This week is proof of that. Elaine got her new kidney and is doing well. I’m so happy for this wonderful lady. You go girl! Hope that you have many fruitful trips to the potty! Yay for being able to pee! Love ya, lady.

     I'll see y'all next week from Australia!

     Max

    Oh, one last word here...

     It seems that Blogger saw how many bloggers were leaving because of their stupid 'porn' ruling and have retracted that. Hmmm, I'm thinking that FB should pay closer attention.


And who doesn't like a little Gio now and again...okay a LOT of Gio.





Sunday, March 15, 2015


     Sooo… here we are once again. I’m sitting here looking at this big white open space of a page, wondering what the hell am I going to say?


     I guess a little update on the move would be in order. It went okay. It was the most unorganized I think I've ever been while moving. I’m paying for it now. I've got boxes everywhere and I can’t find anything. I just open up a box and say, “Oh, now what do I do with you?” Not fun. I’ll be unpacking for weeks at the rate I’m going.

    Oh, and while I’m doing all this moving crap, I've got to be able to find the time to sit down and plan out the trip to Australia. I have two book signings to work out. Seems like I’m going to be attending a M/M book conference, at least for one day while there. I was looking forward to it until I found out they wanted me to do a reading. I've never done a reading before and I’m terrified of that. Oh, and get this: not one but two book readings. I’m going to need some serious cocktails to pull that off.


     For anyone who has read any of my stuff, could you please help me pick out something to read? I’m really clueless as to what readers would want. Which book? And one of those has to be an erotic scene and five minutes of reading. Any ideas people? Help!

     On the writing front…I've got My Hero: The Olympian three-quarters of the way finished. I’ll jump back onto that once I've got this house situation settled. Then I've got three other manuscripts already started and an outline for another one. Needless to say, I've got enough work to carry me through to the end of the year. However, the one that is just an outline will take a year or more to write, I’m afraid. There is going to be a lot of research going into that one. I’m really going to push myself on that last one, so I don’t want to rush it.

     I do have an announcement to make this week. The blog may/will be moving. Not sure when exactly, but it may be sooner than I’d like. It seems that Google/Blogger has a new policy against anything perceived as porn. There are pics on here this week that some of you might not be able to see. If that is the case, please let me know.


     I’m really getting tired of being told what I can see or read by others. First it was Amazon banning ‘Going Home’ and then All Romance e-books. That one surprised me. I think that it would have been a bestseller for both. It was well on its way to that on each site when it was pulled.

     I signed a French petition the other day in protest of the new VAT taxes placed on e-books. Now, I can understand a reasonable tax on sales of books but twenty percent or more is a bit excessive if you ask me. At any rate, I've been thinking that I may work on putting all my books on my website for direct sales for you Europeans at the same price as they are for everyone else. I doubt that any government agency will come after little ol’ me for those VAT taxes. We’ll see how that works out. 

     This week the French translation was released, thank you Bénédicte Girault for all your hard work. You are simply amazing. Speaking of which, I am always blown away by how wonderful my French readers are. You guys are simply amazing. Thank you so much for your support.

     I was told there were quite a few nice reviews for Going Home, the French version. As many will tell you, I don’t really read reviews. Rarely do I go on Goodreads. Yesterday my curiosity got the better of me and I went to have a look-see. I just knew I was going to get a lot of negative feedback. I wasn’t expecting what I saw.

     I was wrong. There were so many nice reviews for Going Home that I was stunned. For the most part the reviews were really good. At one point I got so emotional I had to walk away. I can’t thank everyone enough who takes the time to write a review, especially since it was taken off Amazon and ARe. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

     I’m going to cut this short today. I don’t have that much to say, or I’m just have so many other things going on. The little English washer woman is here and will be wanting something to eat soon so I’d better thing about that. I’m thinking about just throwing some powdered donuts at her, or chocolate. Yeah, that’ll work.

     As always, go forth and do something kind for your fellow humans. Doesn't
have to be much, but every little bit helps.

     Till next week, y ‘all.

     Max





Sunday, February 22, 2015

Oh well, shit happens.


     So… I’m sitting here a bit melancholy. My friend, Lauren, has left after helping me get the new place ready to move in to. She busted her butt scraping, sanding, painting, and cleaning. Now don’t go thinking we didn’t have some fun, because we certainly did that. We laughed to the point of crying many times during the week. It was great. However, there were times when we were so exhausted, we nearly fell asleep in our dinner plates. Each of us was waiting, phones at the ready, to see if the other would actually face-plant into the plate.

     Another thing that is making me rather sad is the view I currently have that I won’t have at the new house. The open pasture with a fine mist hovering above the ground. The Spanish moss dancing sensuously in the air, as a finely shaped horse lazily grazes while the sun reaches out its warm fingers, tickling the new spring-green of the landscape. Yes, I’m going to miss this view. This is what I expected to see each morning for the rest of my life. Oh well, shit happens.

.
     On the upside, I love the new house. Yeah, it needs a LOT of work, but I can see the potential there. It reminds me of Dean Martin, bow tie undone, martini glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Of course, he’s singing, ‘Everybody Needs Somebody Sometimes’. Great. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day. UGH! I keep doing that to myself lately.

     Another good friend has also been helping me. Taylor Law has scrubbed so much dirt and grime up that I’m surprised she’s not hurled yet. And yes, one room was so bad that it took seven coats of Kilz Ultimate Primer to cover that filth. How anyone can live with that is beyond me. Oh well, that room was the worst and the first to be redone. Other than closet doors, it is finished. Yay!

     Of course the Plot Stallions have been running rampant lately, and of course, I’m too busy to stop and write. I hate it when that happens. I actually have three books well on their way, and can’t find the time to get to any of them. What a pisser. After having such a dry spell of not being able to write when I had the time, I now have NO time and that is all I want to do. It’s enough to drive a man to drink… milk.

     Speaking of which, I have been doing much better with my milk addiction. Less stress can’t be the issue because I’m stressed over this move. I have to realize that I’m not super human and I can’t do the things that I used to do when I was 20-30 years younger. My mind says yes and my body says, “Oh fuck, no you don’t!”  Let me just say that trying to install a ceiling fan with tri-focals is a bitch. I practically have to bend over backwards to be able to see. I am truly surprised I’ve not fallen over backwards onto my head off a ladder. I have six more light fixtures to replace so it might happen yet. Anyway, I’ve not been drinking as much milk lately, so that’s good. I’ve not found that twelve-step program for such an addiction, as of yet.

     I met a man. Yep, a real man. So far he’s pushed about every button I have. Dark wavy hair, steel blue eyes, a body that screams, ‘Lick Me!’ and a smile that would boil water. He had on a shirt the other day that I’m surprised his nipples didn’t rub a hole into. I so wanted to rip it off him and just chew on them suckers. Whoa, but he’s hot. Maybe, I’ll one day have the nerve to make a move on him, when I actually have time. It’s sad when you really would like to just slow down, at least long enough to jump someone’s bones, and you can’t. I’m still wondering when this retirement thing is going to kick in. Here are a few pictures that I was able to get.


     Puppy Update: They are horrible, pooping, eating machines. If I didn’t already have a house full of dogs, I’d gladly keep this little boy. He is adorable beyond reason. I take that back… he’s a horrible, pooping, eating machine. Ugh, I give up. He’s precious. I still can’t keep him though.

     I’m still going to do my best to go to the South Florida Meet in Ft. Lauderdale, March 7th. It is free to everyone and I’m looking forward to going. I’ll have books with me for those who want them. It will be good to get out of town for a day or two.

     One more thing… is there anyone interested in going to Gay Day at Disney World this year? It’s from June 2nd thru June 8th. Another friend and I have discussed it and have toyed with the idea of renting a big condo close by. If anyone is interested, let me know. I think it would be a blast. I’d be willing to have some Inappropriate Max Vos T-shirts made up for the occasion. Those who participate with the event are supposed to wear red shirts. Orange and red can go together, right?

     Well, that’s about all I have for this week. Stay tuned… there is bound to be some good stories after the move. My bestie from the UK will be arriving on the 3rd of March. You know the one… the cute, sweet, lovely, simply lovely, lovely-lovely English washer woman. She’s always good for a laugh. She really needs to come for a visit and soon. Hell, she’s been so cold her fingernails have turned blue!

     Have a great week, y’all. Don’t forget to do something nice for someone just for the fun of it.

     Max




Sunday, February 8, 2015

Great Big Knockers? Huh?


So….

     I’m sitting here with this song stuck in my head, ‘Pretty Legs and Great Bit Knockers’. Yes, the Divine Ms. M., none other than Bette Midler herself. How did I get this song-worm stuck in my noggin’, you ask? Well, why don’t I tell you…


     My friend, who I’ll be going to see and stay with in Australia, had never heard of Sophie Tucker, or better yet, Bette’s version of Sophie Tucker. I can’t tell you how many times I've heard those jokes and yet I still laugh at them. Yes, they are much a part of my young adulthood as learning to drive a car. Which, by the way, was a 1961 Cadillac Fleetwood. The damn thing was twenty-two feet long. Try learning to parallel park that bitch!

It was the same color as this too!
     Anyway, I digress…where was I? Oh, Bette Midler. I did see her in concert many years ago. I think I was doing drugs. Matter of fact, I’m sure I was. No, I don’t remember what kind…stop that. The friend that I went with and I went to Backstreet afterwards and danced our asses off the rest of the night and then even had the nerve to go to The Cove later, an all-night gay bar. The next day when I had to go to work, I was a complete wreck. But that’s what we did back then. We partied and worked. Just ask Anthony Bordain. He did the same thing. It is an evening I will never forget. Great memories.


     What was I talking about again? I swear I've got old-timers, or CRAFT. Can’t-Remember-A-Fucking-Thing, for those who don’t know CRAFT. Oh, Bette Midler…right. See what I mean? I talk about Bette Midler and then I go off on some tangent about parts of my life. That is what I’m talking about. The woman was so much a part of my life, that, well she is just kinda stuck there. While trying to explain to this poor lost soul who Sophie Tucker was and then Bette Midler, who really did expand on the woman’s life a bit, I went to YouTube to see if I could find something to show her. Can you believe it? They can’t view some of that stuff in Australia. Those poor depraved people. Kinda like the starving strippers there.

     You know, YouTube should have to have license to watch it or something. I can’t get on there without spending hours upon hours looking at stuff. It really is addictive. I think I’m just going to go look at one thing and then next thing I know it’s like four hours later. WTF? Where the hell did the time go? So it was with doing a bit of research on the Divine Ms. M.

     Also while doing a little bit of research I found out that she is going to be in Florida this year! OMG! I want to go so badly. I’m seriously thinking of like selling my body or something to be able to go. Okay, strike that… I doubt I could get a ticket for ten bucks. It would be like a birthday present to myself. If I win the lottery I’ll buy that VIP Meet & Greet package. Hell, It’s only $1,285.00! I’ll think about that. I also really do need a recliner. Well my feet do at any rate. Something to think about I guess.

This is also the cover for her latest album, which is great!
     What else… I’m excited about my trip Down Under. I still can’t believe I’m going. Another thing I never thought I’d be able to do. So far I know that I will be in Sydney and Melbourne. There will be a few side trips and I will be able to visit on of my favorite vineyards. Wine is always a good idea in my book.


     I still haven’t heard from any of my Aussie friends about finding me stripper bars. I can only assume that there aren't any, not that I’m surprised. The poor starving dears. Now I’m wondering if they are going to have those outdoor urinals as do the Brits. That could prove amusing. I was just talking about that the other day with my friend Petronella. Damn, but we did have a good time.




     Oh, thank you everyone for the nice compliments on A Valentine’s Day Memory. It is a fun write and I do enjoy those characters. Yes, there will be more of the Sutton family. Not sure when. They’ll let me know when they’re ready.


     Sigh… now on a more serious note… I’m moving, once again. Unfortunately things didn't work out where I am the way that I thought they would. I also have given notice to vacate when I thought a certain someone was coming from New Zealand, so I’m kind of stuck with that decision. But I do have a new place to land, if not permanently, but it will work out. I hate moving, but it can’t be helped. At any rate, I’m going to be very busy over the next few weeks getting things fixed up and moving. I’ll try and keep up here, but can’t promise anything right now. But hey, it’s a new adventure, right?


     Puppy update: I keep trying to tell myself how horrible these little creatures are. That they are nothing more than little eating, pooping, sleeping machines. It isn't working. They are just so damn cute! They are now starting to develop personalities and being playful. Just too damn funny when they growl and bark, or squeak is more like it. And no, I’m not keeping them. I think that 6 dogs is just a bit much.

     I did a blog post for Love Bytes this past week. The idea came from the whole Facebook banning picts thing that Jesse Jackman and Dirk Caber have been going through. There is a lot of telling of myself in that little piece. It shows a bit of how I was raised and why I keep preaching on doing for others. I am sure that a lot of you may be tired of it, but it is part of who I am so…get used to it.

     Now, with all that being said, it is time to tell everyone to go off and do good for someone else. Collect some of those good Karma Coins to put in the piggy bank.

     Have a great week, y’all. 

     Max

Ain't her purty?




Sunday, February 1, 2015

Updates or Mad Ramblings...


     Howdy, y’all… first off…puppy update, since so many have asked...

     The remaining male and female are doing quite well. The girl is huge and seems to be the more rambunctious of the two. The little boy is as sweet as, well as sweet as my little English washer woman. They each are eating well and starting to play with each other. They are sooooo cute. They remind me of little panda bears. By the time I post this I hope that they are awake enough to do a short video to share.
video

     I’m getting the idea that y’all are liking the continuing saga of the Sutton family. It was suggested that I do more on them so I decided that Valentine’s Day was a big enough occasion to give them a little more love. I do like this family. It also gives me a chance to visit my hometown a bit and get a little nostalgic.

     One reader asked how I came up with this family. It goes back to August 2013 (I think it was August). Anyway, it was when I was first starting out and quite the newbie. Dreamspinner Press put out an open call for their annual Christmas Advent Calendar. I submitted it and it was rejected. I submitted it to another publisher, Wilde City Press and they also rejected it. Oh well, that’s the way it goes sometimes.

     So I pumped it up a bit, made it a bit longer and stuck it out there as an Indie piece. I’m glad I did. I really do like these characters and the story line they have going. It is a bit on the fluffy side for me, but I think that most authors do have a side to them that can be a bit on the soft side. Yeah… I can hear the snickers from here. Just hush. I’m allowed.

     Why I really wrote this Valentine’s piece was something that I wanted, no… I needed. I needed to see or at least be a part of something uplifting and fun. This helped with that. This gave me the opportunity to get out of my own head for a while.

     In Christmas Memory 2, I actually followed through on my threat of putting people I know into a book. To my friend Lauren…HA! I told you I’d kill your ass. Kimberly, you really do need to get over some of your aversions to food. I am one day going to make you meatloaf and you’re gonna like it! Julie, I just love you and can’t wait till you come for another visit.

     Here is an update on the sequel to My Hero: I think it is a little over three-quarters done. It is going to be a very big book. It is already longer than the original if that tells you anything. There’s a lot going on. I’m introducing a few new characters, but one in particular is a real hoot. Yep, based on a real person, and I just know you’re gonna love her, like I do. Just be forewarned, if I like you, you may actually end up in a book! Here’s the truth about some of the characters: Johnny Milloway was an actual person. I had such a crush on this man. And yes, he was a football player. I was sad to hear years later that he had died of AIDS.

     Rich’s character is based off a friend that I had growing up, who I admired greatly, also a superb gymnast and diver. When we were thirteen he contracted Reye’s Syndrome. The outgoing, super smart and athletic David disappeared after that. The next time I saw David, he was a shell of the person he was. He suffered severe brain damage and I don’t think he ever did gymnastics again. I loved his mother dearly. She is Maggie Sutton in the Memory Series. And true to form, she loved her family more than anything and was just as accepting as Maggie Sutton.

     Character development to me is paramount in any of my stories. Sometimes a person I know becomes a key person in the story, or as often times happens, a conglomeration of several people. That happened in The V Unit. There were several of those characters who were bits and pieces of people stuck together. Kinda like my own private Frankenstein monster. My book. My rules. I can do whatever I want there. He he he.

     The latest news on the Australian trip is I will be there in April. The one thing that I know for sure is that I will be in Melbourne for Queermance, (the third weekend in April) which is an author and reader convention. I won’t be able to attend the entire conference but I will be there for at least part of the time. Looking forward to that. Surely someone knows of a stripper bar there?

     Working on trying to set up a meet-n-greet in Sydney. Still ironing out the details on this but will let y’all know when and where. Again, can someone please let me know the hot spots, preferably a good stripper joint, in Sydney? Don’t y’all have strippers? What’s wrong with this picture?

     I’m afraid that in AU, like in the UK, they don’t have dollar bills and the poor strippers have either died of starvation or had to move on to other professions. It’s sad I tell you, just sad. How can you do that to those poor people? Get it together and demand paper dollars I tell you! Strippers need to eat!

     Sigh…another sad thing is that it was brought to my attention that crabs, you know the louse variety, are still slowly dying off. Did you know that they are endangered now? I know I've mentioned this before, but how sad is that? I do declare that I am going to have to campaign to save the little dears. I swear I’m going to have T-shirts made up. 

Save the crabs! Stop Manscaping!
Boycott Gillette!

     Catchy, huh? Who’d buy a T-shirt to support such a worthy cause?

     I’ve not heard back from my hopefully new LGBT youth cause. I’m keeping my fingers crossed though. Probably just as well right now since I am going to be very busy during March and out of the country April. Still wanting to do something to contribute in some way. We’ll see.

     Anyway, you know the routine. Go out and do for others. Doesn’t have to be a lot, just something. Time to work on that Karma bank account.

     Till next week, y’all.

     Max
Keep on reading!




Sunday, January 25, 2015

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo!


     Here I go, again. Flying by the seat of my pants, which is pretty much the norm for me, I guess. I have no idea with today’s topic is, so I’m just going to do my rambling thing.

     I did actually work this week. Took me awhile to get my head into it, but I finally got there. I dusted off a story that I wanted to do last year, re-read it and I can’t wait to get back to it. However, it was a rather heavy subject and I didn’t think it would be a good thing to jump into at this point in time. Not to mention I have someone bugging the bejesus out of me for another story that I’ve almost gotten done…that I’ve been working on over the past year. Anyhoo, I decided to do something else. Something more upbeat, with characters that I already had in my head.

     I guess I’m just going to announce it… A Valentine’s Day Memory.


     I don’t have a blurb for it just yet, but let’s say it is almost finished and my goal is to have it out by February 1st. 

     Puppies update – Unfortunately I lost one of the little girls yesterday. I had just started the weaning process and I don’t think her kidneys were developed properly. I was sorry to let her go, but sometimes Mother Nature has other plans. The other two seem to be thriving, although still not all that enthused with the new food. Mommy’s is better.

     I do have another big announcement coming, but am going to hold off until I have a more firm date. Oh hell, why not…

     For my Aussie friends, get ready… I’m making the trek to Down Under this spring, or your autumn, if I survive the flight. I don’t mind flying and used to enjoy it quite frankly. But…27 hours traveling? UGH… oh God, Buddha or Allah, whoever is on duty those days, give me patience.
I think this would make it more tolerable

     So far I have it worked out that I will be in Sydney and Melbourne for sure. Hope to be able to meet up with some longtime social media friends, and perhaps meet some new ones. I’m really looking forward to it, minus the getting there part. Do they have strip clubs in Aussie-land?

     What else… Oh the big excitement this week? I had my car worked on. The check engine light has been popping on and then going off for about a year. The mechanic I had in Atlanta couldn’t figure it out. Then I started having this noise like a small roar, so I decided I needed to have it checked out.


     First thing the guy said was, “Sounds like a hub”. Uhhh, okay. A hub as in hubcap? At least I was in the right vicinity. I also ended up having to get new brakes all the way around. Oh well, who needed that money for other things, like a trip to a strip club? 

     Found out that the sensor was bad to start with. Now why didn’t the mechanic in Atlanta figure that out? It would have saved me quite a bit of time and money if he had. Seems like this guy knows what he is doing and his prices are fair. Always good to have a good mechanic.


     What makes this all so interesting and exciting, (because it is, right?) was getting back home while they work on the damn thing. It was either that or sit there all day, and as it turned out, all night and part of the next day waiting for it to get done. You see, when you live out in the boonies, as I do, there aren’t a lot of people around. Not to mention I still don’t know that many people here, and those that I do know don’t live even close to where I am. Once I got that all worked out, it went fine. While I was sitting there waiting for my ride, I did see this rather handsome young man, who is one of their tow truck drivers. Nice looking. Dark hair, about 5’10”, had a well-trimmed beard. Nice arms, cute bubble butt, nice legs… he got my attention. And then…and then he opened his mouth.

     For some reason the Lonely Goat Herder song from Sound of Music flashed through my head. I looked at him again and he started looking more and more like a goat. Hell, he even grew horns. What a letdown. Then I got tickled. I had to take a walk just to get over the giggles. It was funny and sad all at the same time. I still don’t quite understand what it was about his voice, but it was odd, in a strange way, and I could see where it would become very annoying. (Crap, now I have that song stuck in my head...ugh.)

     I guess that’s about it for now. My exciting life, welcome to it. You know that old saying? “Do unto others…” You know it, right? I think I’m going to change it. “Do unto others better than what you’d expect others to do for you.” Think that works? I do. Go rack up some Karma Coins, you guys.

     Until next week…

     Max






Sunday, January 18, 2015

Out of the Pool.


     Howdy, y’all. 

     I guess most of you may have noticed by now that I took down my blog post from last week. Sorry, but it was just too whiney for me. I’m not generally a whiney person and I really don’t care for many who are, so I took it down. I'm done doing laps in the pity pool. 


     
     So….now what? Hell if I know.

     I did manage to pull myself together enough to finish edits and get A Christmas Memory 2 out. The initial plan was to have it out the day after Thanksgiving, but things got…messy and complicated, to say the least. Anyhoo, I got a not so gentle nudge from my bestie and it is out. Thanks to all who bought it. For those who are fans of Adam and J.J., I may have a little surprise for you in the not too distant future.


     I will admit I've been drinking again. MILK people, just milk. Sheesh. Yeah, went through four gallons in one week. I’m sure there is a twelve-stop program for people like me. Between the milk and the goodie baskets I got for Christmas…well all I can say is thank god for elastic pants!



     The big news of the week, I guess, is that I did find a charity that I would like to volunteer for. It looks like a great organization that helps homeless gay youth. I’ll tell you more about that later. Don’t want to jinx it just yet. I did ask for a few letters of reference and I got some really nice ones. Thanks to those who wrote them. Big kisses and hugs.

     A good friend invited me to NYC and I was very tempted. I really could use a change of scenery about now. Even with the temperatures up there I was tempted. BUT… there are three week old puppies to consider, so that pretty much takes care of that.

     Speaking of puppies... they will be four weeks old this coming Wednesday. They are growing like weeds and are going to be beautiful dogs.
New born. Still wet.
Week One.


Week Two

video
     With all that has gone on in the past few weeks… I've not been doing a whole lot. Did a marathon of Downton Abbey. Watched movies that…well…were of questionable worth. Had more chocolate than anyone should have at any given time.

     What else? Umm…

     Well I have been helping the bestie with some plotting and working on the Southern Dialect. There are times when I wonder if we really do speak the same language. Although, admittedly, there are some things that Southerners say that you’d never hear anywhere else in the world, I’m sure. I call them Southernisims. I’ll give you some examples…

     I think that the first time that K.C. heard me say “I’m as full as a tick on a fat hound dawg”, she nearly fell out of her chair laughing, after she was able to close her mouth that is. Now she says it as well. It's quite amusing to hear her try and imitate a Southern accent. Sorry hun, but that English accent still shines through.

     When I was visiting her last summer and after a long walk on the Isle of Wight, I think I said something about being as sore as a boil on an old whore’s butt. I think her husband just about spit tea through his nose. (He has more control than I gave him credit for. I’ll try harder next time.)

     Now was it my fault that those poor folks in Paris couldn't understand my English? “I speak English, but I do not understand you with accent.” Wait? I have an accent? Lara Brukz, do we have an accent? Naw, can’t have.

     Hell, there were some English who couldn't understand me while in the UK. That’s okay, I didn't understand them half the time either. As much as I love my friend, and fellow urinal watcher, Petronella, I only get about half what she says, especially have a few beers. Don’t much matter, we have a good time anyway.

     On a side note, anyone who wants to send me a stripper, feel free to do so. Wouldn't mind the distraction about  now. Just make sure he’s at least thirty years old! I have to say, I’m missing my stripper bar in Atlanta.  

     Okay, I guess that’s about all I got for this week. Remember, doing something nice for someone else is a lot of times better for you than them. Rack up them Karma Coins, y’all.

     Have a great week you guys,

     Max